Monday, December 15, 2014

Healing Your Relationship with a Departed Loved One

. . .

But there is even more to this story. As I mentioned earlier, my father, Gene Guy Gutting, passed away of a sudden heart attack at the young age of forty-eight. I was just sixteen. At the time, my parents were separated and my father was living in Santa Cruz, California, an eight-hour drive from our family home in Irvine. 

Although my dad had a big heart and was a very passionate, loving man, he was from the old school of discipline and could be quite stern with his four daughters. As a result, we all felt afraid of our father at times. He could also be described as a workaholic, so even when he was living with us, he was often absent and I never felt that I knew him very well. In addition, in my adolescent and early teen years, my parents often fought in front of us, and I experienced my dad’s words toward my mom as harsh. My mom would confide in me, complaining of my dad’s preoccupation with his work as well as other problems in their marriage. I sided with my mom and unconsciously believed that it was my job to protect her. Because of this, my relationship with my dad was especially strained when my parents were separated, just before his death. 

After he passed, I missed my father terribly and years later chose to consciously heal my relationship with him in spirit. I learned that although we shed our bodies at death, our souls are eternal, and we can continue to communicate with our departed loved ones, and even heal any differences we had with them before their passing. 

One day, I heard a wise teacher remark, “in order to fulfill her purpose in the world and have a loving relationship with a man, a daughter needs to feel her father’s blessing.” She needs to know she is precious in his eyes. She needs to feel that she is lovable exactly the way she is. And that no matter what happens in her life, he has her back. This was a profound revelation for me. It dawned on me that I had never felt this from my father. At least in my own mind and heart, I had never received his blessing. 

Over time, I practiced envisioning myself as a little girl, sitting on my father’s lap as he stroked my hair and looked lovingly into my eyes, telling me how proud he was of me. This I could imagine my father doing, because even though I don’t recall hearing such words from him directly, I do remember his work colleagues sharing at his end-of-life celebration how proud our dad was of his girls. These visualizations had a profound healing effect on me. I began to feel on a visceral level that my father loved me deeply.

When he passed, my mother, sisters, and I flew to Santa Cruz for his funeral service. I think I was still in shock from him leaving our lives so suddenly. . . .
Excerpted from The Magic of Saying Yes, by Betsy Gutting, JD

To get your copy, click here.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Saying Yes to a New Adventure

I know that when I receive an inspired impulse, this is my soul saying, “Wake up!” The soul’s essence is like a sparkling diamond with unlimited facets of light-filled expression. When I feel an inner nudge that comes with exhilarated fear, a new facet of my soul is ready to breakthrough and become real—to show up in the world as more of me.
We can imagine what would make our lives better and what would make the world a better place, but if we don’t honor our impulses to move on the divine direction we receive, we’ll suffer for it. This is what poets refer to as the unlived life. We may not recognize it as such. We might just feel restless or blame our job or lack of money or other people. Or we lose hope, and the passion of feeling truly alive eludes us day in and day out. Life feels life-less, because it lacks us.

When you hold back, you are keeping your greatest life—your destiny—at arms length.
. . .

Imagining all of us breaking free from our self-imposed cages lights me up because it fuels my larger, passionate vision for humanity. Imagine how life would be if we all said yes to those little soul nudges to break through the ego’s resistance. When one of us takes a risk, our yes gives others permission to do the same. We feel their wind, catch it … and fly.

~ from The Magic of Saying Yes, by Betsy Gutting

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Dear Spirit, please wake me up!

Beginning your day with an empowering intention for how you want to feel is vital for feeling great and on purpose. Even with a powerful intention, though, our habitual thoughts don't often match our intention. Much of what our thoughts say all day long comes from worry, fear or past conditioning. For example, "that project is too hard," "no one is supporting me," or "If I go for __________, I'll probably be rejected." Thoughts like these limit us and drain our energy. They steal our mojo and creative bliss. And most of the time, they just aren't true! 

The truth is that we are wonderful, loving human beings who experience challenges and turning points. We have infinite potential. We move through obstacles and pain to capture and live the next dream or inspired idea. To awaken to the passion that gives us the momentum to see a  clear vision requires spending more thought-time in a more elevated consciousness. Our real truth consciousness. Playing more often in the delicious-feeling "higher altitudes," as I call them, is the foundation of feeling really alive. 

Today I noticed myself thinking low-level, ho hum thoughts. And then I got this little humorous inner nudge. "Spirit, when I'm feeling blah, can you please wake me up! I give you full permission to butt in to my thoughts and set me straight!" It made me chuckle and shifted my energy with humor alone!

If you like it, try it on. Here's an affirmative prayer you can use:
"Spirit, please feel free to butt in and tell me the truth when my thoughts are spouting lies. Remind me all day of my real destiny. Keep sending me love, warmth, peace and comfort. Thank you. I love you so!"

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Let Love Enter

When you feel
You want to give up
“There’s nothing left!”
Says the cold dark hopeless wind blowing inside

However miserable it may feel
However hopeless, however wrong
Speak this truth out loud

“I can’t stand this anymore!”
Speak the truth, at least to yourself
To someone you deeply trust
Witnessed pain is acknowledged pain
Acknowledged pain, seen pain, becomes healed pain
Feeling is healing
Feeling is all you need to do

You don’t have to know what is next
That’s the ego, putting the cart before the horse
Let yourself feel
This is all you have to do
Let yourself feel the pain, all the way through

Now peace can wash over you
The essence of you
Without all the noise
Of the demons, the darkness, the cold

This is you, the real you
Now you begin to hear
It’s quiet whispers
Make friends with the calm
It’s worthy of your time
You’re worthy of your time

Love is calling
Let love enter
Love is the REAL you
Love is all there is
Which is why we hear this so often

Love is your guide
To everything that’s missing
Meet love
Ask it to enter

Patiently be with what is
As you watch for signs
Of love returning
As it always does
As it will for you

~ Betsy Gutting

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Breaking Away From The Tribe

This is a powerful time of transformation on the planet. Many of us are experiencing what I call "breaking away from the tribe." This may include confronting, taking a break from or permanently leaving a job, relationship, family of origin or pattern that has kept you seemingly safe but beholden. Beholden to people or situations that do not honor, respect, deeply love or cherish you for you who you truly are. You may feel like the black sheep, unseen or invisible in your biological family or workplace. Undoubtedly you feel cramped, trapped, suffocated or deprived of adventure, passion and true aliveness. No one is to blame. You're probably waking up, either for the first time or you're experiencing another round of transformation. You've come to a place where you have to squarely meet what is right in front of you. It's time to free yourself. Your health, on all levels, depends on it!

For example, I've been told many a time by one of my family members, "we just don't understand you." I'll be honest, not feeling supported by my family of origin caused me deep pain. We all have a primal need to belong to our natal tribe. We yearn to feel loved, accepted and fully supported as we navigate the significant changes and tough decisions that life inevitably brings. But bucking convention and taking the less traveled path often kicks up dirt and upsets the family apple cart.

It has taken me years, but I finally get it now. When you have experienced a significant transformation, awakening, or soul initiation--an experience that your family members or co-workers have not experienced themselves--they will not see things in the same way that you do. Transformation gifts you with seeing life from a totally new perspective. Seeing through the eyes of love rather than fear breaks open your heart and changes your entire view on life and why you're here. Once you've experienced this radical inner change, your outer life begins to shift as well. You need new nutrients to thrive! Supportive soul friends who've gone through what you have are key--they will make up your new tribe--your chosen family.

If you take some distance or set a clear boundary with your old tribe, expect push back. Someone will probably make it known, either overtly or through passive aggressive behavior that they don't like your unconventional beliefs, attitudes or actions. They may be afraid, jealous or worried that you'll surpass them in some way. If you can have an honest conversation in which you feel safe to speak from your heart, I encourage it. Often, however, this isn't possible. 

You will need support from your new tribe to clarify your stand and stay true to you what you know in your heart is right for you. Give yourself lots of compassion if you waver or find yourself drawn back into your old tribe, only to come away feeling disrespected or unloved again. It takes tremendous courage to honor yourself, commit to yourself, be loyal to yourself--in short, to put your well-being first. Healthy selfishness is a prerequisite to thriving. 

Getting support from a loyal friend, mentor, or coach is ab-soul-utely essential! Essential to summoning an inner yes to step into the new, which is calling you, I promise. Free yourself from what smothers, betrays or dishonors and invite in what nourishes and embraces. Make way for miracles!

If you'd like to be part of my tribe, please sign up for my inspirational newsletter. You will receive uplifting, empowering messages monthly. Sign up here or on my home page: Together we can thrive in joyful community! 

Monday, October 27, 2014

The Power of Blessing

Bless the people who are starting a new job today. Bless the folks who are meeting unbearable grief. Bless those who are waking up from the best dream ever, and those who are trying to shake off a nightmare. Bless those who've just had an exciting new revelation. And those who fear never having one again. Today, bless the person who rubs you the wrong way, the one who opens the door for you, and the one who may never truly get you. Bless yourself for being here, for putting one foot in front of the other, for showing up wherever you are headed today to be your truest, most authentic self, as best as you can given what you're moving through. You, me and everyone else are in essence, pure love with unlimited potential. We just forget this on a regular basis! Bless those who remember today and bless everyone else in turn. Bless life ~ it's here for us!

Monday, June 9, 2014

Half-Yearly Coaching Special!

Could you use a tune-up for your soul? Are you wondering if you're on track? Trying to decide among options? At a crossroads? It's that time of year again! I'm offering a half-yearly coaching special,  a full 90 minute session for the price of a one-hour session.

Bring your desired area of focus--career, relationship, life purpose or self-care--for example, and you will come away with renewed confidence and enthusiasm to move forward. Plus an Action Plan with one or more concrete, practical steps to get you moving and feeling on track again. 

We meet by phone or video Skype, or in person if you're in the Seattle area. 

90 minute-session for the price of one hour ~ $200 

To schedule, click here to send me an email.