Tuesday, February 9, 2016

How To Become Your Most Authentic Self

1) Express your creativity! If you think you’re not creative, you especially need to do this step. Everyone came to this life to fashion something out of the assets and inner resources they were given.

The issue is: 1) you’re either afraid to take a risk to make something new, or 2) you’re in a rut that doesn’t include creative time. Create space for your inner creative self to live, breathe and play. How? Carve out time at least once a week to nourish yourself—at least two to three hours of open-ended time works well. If you feel guilty about taking time for yourself, reframe it as necessary time to recharge so you can truly be present for your loved ones. It’s true, self-nourishment is necessary!

2) Decide to be true to your real desires and priorities. Vow that the next time someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do, you’ll say no without apology.

3) Take time to reflect on what matters most to you right now. Then make a plan to give yourself what you need. If you don’t see how to do this or you doubt that you’ll follow through, give yourself the gift of asking a friend to hold you accountable or hire a coach. Now go call that person.

4) Take back a hobby. What were you passionate about at age 10? Age 13? Age 20?

When I was ten, I loved to write in my diary. Actually it was a life saver. We moved from California to Georgia and I was lonely without my old friends. Writing my feeligns in my diary saved me.

These days we call it “journaling.” Journaling gives me someplace to air my grievances, confusion and upsets. I write to Spirit, get answers and release anxiety. The more old layers of emotion and stress we shed, the more authentic we begin to feel. Begin by telling yourself the truth about you and your life in your notebook pages. Journaling saved my life at age 10 and returns me to peace now that I’m ageless.

I have an attorney client who often feels overwhelmed with the responsibilities of managing her demanding practice. She loved to play piano as a girl but gave it up because she wasn’t going to be a professional musician. I asked her why she didn’t play for her own happiness and she said it wouldn’t be the same because she was so out of practice. I told her the litte girl inside who used to play doesn’t need to be a top performer, she just wants to make music again. She doesn’t care if it comes out perfectly or not. She wants to feel the joy that comes from playing. It took her awhile to give herself permission to be a beginning again, but when she finally did, she had fun!

5) Tell someone you trust your deepest, darkest secret. I know, you might be thinking, “Ugh, what would I gain from exposing myself?!” You might be surprised how much energy it takes to keep a secret—energy you could be using to live your joyful purpose. Suppressing anything is draining. Ask a trusted friend to share something they don’t want anyone to know because of shame or fear or guilt, and then reciprocate. If you don’t have anyone you feel safe sharing with, consider partnering with a coach or therapist.

6)  Take a risk. One small action that initially feels scary yet potentially exciting has the power to positively change your life.

7) Make a list of everything you would do if you weren’t afraid. “If I weren’t afraid I would …”   Now look at your list. What tiny step could you take that would bring you joy? You deserve to express more of who you are. This is a bridge to making that fulfilling contribution your heart is yearning for.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Tiny Steps to Momentum and Great Things

It's a New Year! 

I love this time of year because hope and optimism uplift our collective consciousness. Even if we still have some baggage to clear from last year (or 10 years ago), we tend to feel more motivated to do it. We feel the excitement of a brand new beginning. The turning of a new year says we get another chance to fulfill our aspirations and realize our potential. Why not seize the "go get 'em" energy of January's fresh-start encouragement? We are ripe for entertaining a new possibility for our lives.

Yesterday I heard the same thing from two different sources (which always gets my attention): If you don't take a risk and step into the unknown--where all new possibilities live--you will never know your true potential. You will never truly experience what you are capable of--what you could have done. You will never get to express the fullness of who you are. You will also miss the exhilaration of feeling fully alive, because risk taking is the bridge that takes us into the new territory that brings us alive again. 

I saw this license plate on my walk this morning. In that moment I had just hiked to the top of a hill in my new neighborhood. It hit me as an affirmation of a small step I'd just taken--that of adding hills to my morning walk routine. "Thank you," I thought, "I'll take all the encouragement I can get!"

If you've made any resolutions or intentions for positive change in your life, you too might appreciate the affirmation. Taking a small step to improve the quality of your life pays off. I know that it's early in the game of 2016, which is all the more reason to say yes to added encouragement to keep going. Brand new beginnings are delicate times for your growth and expansion. It may not feel like you are growing into anything. It may just feel like you are hoping and wishing for a better year this year. 

Underneath the surface, though, resolutions and intentions can be powerful positive change agents. By setting them, you are nurturing tender seeds that will grow you into a stronger, more confident and expressive new self. These are seeds of your future self--a self that is willing to take a risk to grow into more of who you came here to be.

When it comes to New Year's resolutions, goals and intentions, it helps to be aware of the inner critic. Not to suppress or silence her--she needs a voice or she will come up from underground and sabotage your best efforts. The inner critic is the opposite of self-loving. He specializes in knocking you down a notch or two, discounting any progress you make. The critic's negative voice can be subtle and sneaky. It might say, "Good try, really, but you know in a few days you'll be back to your old routine." Those kinds of words can be convincing, especially if they ring true to your small, conditioned self and your past experience.  

The good news is that the conditioned self, this negative naysaying party pooper, is not who you are. Your past experience isn't who you are either! The voice of doom and doubt is simply a product of past training that never got you anywhere and only slows you down and makes you feel like eating five candy bars at 10 PM right before bed. 

Here's an antidote: looking at and moving your focus to what's actually true. The despondent inner critic will probably always be there. You can make room for him, give her a place at the table and even embrace her with warm hugs and love and hot cocoa. She may still show up routinely as Debbie Downer. Fortunately she's not the only voice.  

We have to counter the inner blah-blah-blah blather with a strong dose of Truth. You know the voice of Truth because it's always encouraging, loving and uplifting. Truth has a broader view. It's much more generous and knows that life is conspiring for your success. Truth says, "Just start anywhere and life will meet you halfway." Truth knows that momentum is everything when you're beginning something new. Knowing this, Truth counts even the smallest successes as wins, because they are.

It helps me to acknowledge my wins, however small they feel (and to the critic, forward movement is always "not enough.") One tiny step in the direction of your goals does make a difference! This morning my small step was walking up and down three hills in my neighborhood. I know that hills are good for my body and spirit. They make me sweat and move the stagnant energy that creates inertia and keeps me in an old rut. Moving energy gets me and you back in the flow. Now I'm writing to you and this feels wonderful!

One step in the direction of your desires. This gets the momentum going. Momentum leads to great accomplishments.

If you've been wanting to experience more joy, more laughter, more lightness, and more fun in your life--but work or relationship or other stresses have been draining you--I have something for you. I'm excited to be offering a New Year coaching special to help ignite your momentum, activate your confidence and get you back in the flow, moving toward your heart's truest desires. Partnering with a coach can be the difference between having goals and truly taking action on them, bringing your vision to fruition. Scroll down for details. By the way, if we're not yet connected, be sure to sign up for my mailing list to receive monthly inspiration in 2016.

I'm right here with you. Remembering the goal is progress, not perfection. Gentle, easy and fun does it.

What tiny win can you celebrate today?  

New Year Coaching Special!

Purchase a 3-session coaching package with me and receive the fourth session absolutely free! This special is only available once a year, and this offer expires on Wednesday, January 13th at midnight PST.

With the fresh start, clean-slate, can-do momentum of the New Year, this is the perfect time to invest in your future and move forward on what matters most to you.

How the coaching special works: 
We start where you are now. We will work together to clarify your goals and tailor a plan that meets your specific needs. I will intuitively hone in on the heart of the matter for your unique situation, help you release fear, and guide you to receive the answers you seek. As you begin to receive insights and gain energy and confidence to take steps, I will lovingly hold you accountable as we work together on an ongoing basis. Action creates momentum and momentum moves you in a positive new direction!

I can help you in any area of your life, including:

  • Relationships ~ Healing your past and attracting a new partner or strengthening your current bond.

  • Career ~ Creating meaningful, fulfilling work in your present situation, clarifying a new career path or transitioning to a new field or position.

  • Emotional Well Being ~ Healing emotions from a past or current relationship or work/business setback. 

  • Empowerment ~ Setting clear boundaries; choosing the most effective words to say and actions to take in your personal or work life.

  • Self-Love and Self-Esteem ~ Gaining the courage and confidence to move forward in any area of your life.
It's exciting for me to witness my clients taking new steps and feeling hopeful and enthusiastic about their lives again! Let's join together to move your life forward in 2016. Purchase  your 3-session package with a fourth free session here.

We will meet by phone or Skype. In person sessions available in Laguna Beach, CA.

Getting started: After purchasing your package, send me an email or call my office at 206-605-2900 to schedule your sessions.

Client results ...

"Without question, coaching is the smartest financial and personal growth investment that I have ever made in my life. Working with Betsy has been transformative--her wise guidance and compassionate support helped me (a) gracefully make a major career transition into work that is truly fulfilling; (b) cultivate new patterns and thoughts that serve me; (c) lighten up and relax; and (d) become more aligned with my creativity and intuition. Betsy's coaching provided the safety, strength, and guidance that my heart needed."
~ Amber P.

"I'm very grateful to have worked with Betsy, and I would recommend her coaching to anyone looking for the inner guidance that will help them move forward and grow into the life of their dreams."
~ Trina W.

"Working with Betsy gave me very powerful insight into what I was capable of manifesting in my life. I was empowered to make major life changes and take big leaps that I did not realize I was ready for. It gave me a loving nudge to trust myself and the Universe. Betsy helped me to shift my belief to knowing that I would have everything I need, and she was so right! Beyond my wildest expectations. I am so grateful for all that has transpired and Betsy's insight that helped me create it!"
~ Emily S.

This offer expires on Wednesday, January 13th at midnight PST. Sign up for your 3-session package with a fourth free session here.


Saturday, January 2, 2016

Thursday, December 31, 2015

And What Does Your Heart Say?

Pause, breathe and put one hand on your heart. Ask your heart to answer as you say these words. In 2016, all I want to do is ________________________________________.

My heart said: Inspire people! 

What did yours say?

Happy abundant, fully alive, luscious and happy New Year! You deserve the best year ever!


Monday, December 21, 2015

Self-Loving Holidays

I am excited to share a few tips for really enjoying your holiday season. In a strange and crazy way, December has become the most stressful time of year for a lot of people. Why would we do that to ourselves? And how can we not do that this year so we can have the most restful, peaceful and deeply soul nourishing holy-days that we so desire and truly deserve? 

After all, 2016 is approaching and on a profound soul level we are also preparing for the new year (the best year ever, I am personally portending, and I want the same for you.) This is an in-between time of endings and approaching new beginnings, also known archetypally as a period of death and re-birth. In winter we shed layers of an old self while a new self with a more authentic and empowered idea for living begins to gestate as we prepare on the inside to be born again in the spring. Which means that during this sacred time, self-loving nourishment is especially necessary!

This year my youngest daughter will be visiting me for the first time in my new home in southern California. I am beyond thrilled that we’ll be celebrating this special time of year together. I am also aware that my expectations for an ideal Christmas could put a lot of pressure on both of us. All I really want is to love her up and stay in the present moment. My inner guidance is telling me to enjoy planning but to hold my plans loosely in my mind, to release attachment to any agenda, and most of all to stay open to the natural flow of love between us. For example, if she doesn’t want to go walk on the beach one day, I can still go. In other words, I can let go and expect the best while appreciating what comes. It all starts with deciding how I want to experience the holidays and commit to returning to that feeling if something throws me off.

As I’ve been running around shopping for gifts, I’ve been reminding myself that holidays are meant to be holy-days, a time to celebrate and be in the spirit of giving and receiving love and peace. So when the lines are way longer than I expect or the store’s receipt machine gets clogged and I have to wait even longer, I can pause and breathe and re-adjust to the present circumstances. I might want to do it all, but in truth there is usually one less thing I can do, one less dish I can prepare and one more hug I can give myself and anyone else I come into contact with (you can even “virtually” hug a stranger by sending them love in your mind … it works!)

My intention is be loving and have fun. If I lose the feeling, I will do my best to come back to love and fun. I can ask myself, what would make me feel happy right now and give that to myself.  Above all, I commit to loving myself through any disappointment or unmet expectation.

How about you? What are you intending to experience over these last few days of 2015?  Your intention is your anchor to your true, vibrant, joyful, creative self. If you want to play, fill in this blank: 

No matter what, over the last two weeks of 2015, I am going to do my best to be ___________________________ . 

Breathe often. Keep things as simple as possible. If conflict arises or you feel triggered, ask, “What would love do right now?”

You deserve to be happy!

I recorded this holiday-New Year meditation just for you. It will empower you to release 2015 and sail confidently and courageously into 2016. Enjoy!

Saturday, December 12, 2015

New Year Inspiration ... Be Bold and Break Free in 2016!

A new year approaches, inviting us to go beyond limiting barriers and say yes to our inspired impulses. Are you ready to ignite your inner fire? Here's a little inspiration for you from The Magic of Saying Yes.

Last spring, my friend Dave and I got stuck on a major thoroughfare in Seattle called the 520-bridge, en route to an evening out dancing. On this two-lane bridge in the middle of Lake Washington, traffic was at a standstill, making a long stream of headlights, with cars backed up as far as we could see. People even began to get out to discern the cause. Dave, who was driving, began to mutter under his breath that we might miss the band altogether.

Dave is my prayer partner, so we have periodic talks about what we want to manifest in our lives. I have shared with him my heart’s desire to release my remaining shyness and say yes to expressing my full authentic nature—to live a life some call living out loud. For instance, I want to free myself to go out on the dance floor even if I am the only one—even if my dance partner is sitting this one out. Dancing by myself? Easier said than done. I hear my free-spirited, soul saying, "I love this song! Let's go!" But my fearful ego resists just enough to keep me in my chair. 

Just before Dave and I left my house, I had voiced my intention to let go of my fears even more and follow my spirit. Now here we were, still stuck on the bridge. Drivers began turning off their engines. I was beginning to feel discouraged, thinking we might not get to dance tonight at all. Then the famous Rolling Stones tune “You Can't Always Get What You Want” came flooding into my head, reminding me that maybe I wasn’t getting what I wanted, but I could still go for what I needed

What’s stopping us from dancing right here, right now? I thought. What's the worst that could happen—people assuming I'm crazy, ridiculing or making fun of me? Their criticism was unlikely to go further than the privacy of their own mind or car. Who is going to accost a happy dancer? All of this went through my mind in a split second as I felt my ego rebel with, "Noooo!" But in that moment of desire to break through my comfort zone, I felt a wonderful rush of possibility.

“Will you crank up the radio and dance with me?!” I turned to Dave.
“Right here?” he responded with a tiny bit of yes in his voice.
“Yes! It will be great!” I enthused.

Dave put his hand on the dial and turned up the music.

And we did it.

With a long line of headlights beaming right on us, we got out and danced on the bridge. I almost couldn't believe I was doing it, but I felt exhilarated.
I was breaking free!   

Freeing ourselves always means stepping into unknown territory. And the unknown naturally triggers fear-—-it’s how our brains are wired. I know from taking other risks, however, that exhilarated fear is a sure sign of yes! The presence of fear along with excitement is my soul telling me that a big reward awaits me on the other side of going for it.

I know that when I receive an inspired impulse, this is my soul saying, “Wake up!” The soul’s essence is like a sparkling diamond with unlimited facets of light-filled expression. When I feel an inner nudge that comes with exhilarated fear, a new facet of my soul is ready to breakthrough and become real—to show up in the world as more of me.

We can imagine what would make our lives better and what would make the world a better place, but if we don’t honor our impulses to move on the divine direction we receive, we’ll suffer for it. This is what poets refer to as the unlived life. We may not recognize it as such. We might just feel restless or blame our job or lack of money or other people. Or we lose hope, and the passion of feeling truly alive eludes us day in and day out. Life feels life-less, because it lacks us.

When you hold back, you are keeping your greatest life—your destiny—at arms length.

On the bridge that night, in the pitch dark, surrounded by a great expanse of water and with hundreds of car headlights shining on us, I felt something bigger than fear or my own inhibitions cheering me on . . .  

Read more ... 

Get your copy of The Magic of Saying Yes: Answering Your Heart's True Calling here. 

Monday, November 30, 2015

Focus on Feeling Great

If you only focus on feeling great, you will slowly but surely create a joyful life. In other words, if you put your emotional well being as first priority, rather than avoiding your emotions and powering through or self-medicating them with your favorite vices (we all have them!) Then your inner child can feel safe being in this world despite the crazy ups and downs of external reality. And this is a pretty nutso world, especially when filtered through the ego mind perceptions, which are all over the place! 

In fact, what if you pause right now, take a nice deep cleansing breath and tell your inner little one that s/he is your first priority and your only job is to feel good. How does that feel?